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          FUNNY Volleyball Definitions by Juan A. Tovar

These definitions are intended for T-Shirts and are intended for fun purposes only. Please excuse the rudeness and offensive definitions. 

These are my views of volleyball definitions with a twist. There are some serving terms and or serving name terms. Many terms might be missing.

ACE – When the other team is not good enough to even get the serve.

Alien Trilogy

ALIEN FACE HUGGER – Being hit in the face leaving the brand name of the ball and the ball valve marks.

ALIEN CHEST BURSTER – Being hit in the chest while breaking open your fake chain tucked inside.

ALIEN QUEEN – That volleyball player who has the best expensive gear yet she cannot play for bit.

ANTENNAE – “those things” – what parents in the crowd yell when the ball hits them, due to the parent’s lack of volleyball knowledge.

APPROACH – The action of a coach who tries to tell his/her players that they suck at volleyball.

ASSIST – When another player helps their player off the floor from getting hit on the face.

ATTACK – What a parent yells to his/her team after trailing the 3rd game at 24 – 0 and the 1st 2 - games were lost 25-0, 25-0.

ATTACK BLOCK – When a parent takes a picture with an exaggerated flash of an opposing team during every spike attempt.

ATTACK ERROR – When a parent takes a picture with an exaggerated flash of an opposing team during every spike attempt and the flash doesn’t work.

ATTACKER – When a parent throws a very hard ball back to two opposing players warming up.

ATTACK LINE – How close a player can get to another before striking them for those bad words exchanged earlier during the game.

ATTACK SYSTEM – When a number of parents are calling the game rule mistakes called by the umpire and every one knows that they no nothing about volleyball.

AUDIBLE – A player who won’t listen to the coach’s instructions.

AVP – An excellent movie called Alien Verses Predator.

BACK COURT – When a volleyball player backs up to serve and accidently runs out of space and hits the wall. 

BACKCOURT SPIKE – A player in the top bleachers, who is mixing Gatorade with another sports drink.

BACK SLIDE - When a boy in the bleachers calls out a number from the opposing side and yells “# 2 sucks” and their parent is behind you without you knowing it.

BACK SET – Just like a back seat driver – One who yells “Set the ball” every time it’s time to set the ball in a game.

BACK ROW ATTACK – Just like a back seat driver – One who yells “Set the ball” every time it’s time to set the ball in a game plus a bad word he/she yells when the setter does a lift.

BALLOON – an object you give to a child to entertain me while you watch the volleyball game. 

BASELINE – The point in a volleyball game where the music playing, especially the base, is not heard clearly. 

BEACH DIG – When a girl not on the beach, picks up a ball.

BLOCK – A person in the crowd that constantly stands up whenever their team makes a point.

BUMP – Two players who hit the net and go over into each others areas on purpose to hit the person they dislike.

BALL HANDLING ERROR – An ex-player in the stands who used to play volleyball 30 yrs ago and was never good back then and is hit in the face trying to set the ball back into the playing field.

BREAK – The word non volleyball players name after each game is over.

BREAK POINT – The point  where parents give up on their own children because they are losing badly and leave the game early and later make an excuse like their stomach hurts or something.

BUMP PASS – When a player can not make their decision to either bump or pass the ball to the setter and therefore look like he or she is blessing the volleyball.

CAMPFIRE – A group of players in a “campfire formation”, usually all listening to their I-pods who are not aware that they should be warming up and that their game is about to start in 5 minutes. 

CARRY - a player who plays and at the same time is less than one week pregnant.

CENTER LINE – Where players line up once they have lost their 3rd consecutive game.

CHANGE UP – In a volleyball game, when everyone in the bleachers stand up to stretch.

CHOWDER – the taste of leather and sweat when the volleyball hits your mouth during a dig.

CLOSING THE BLOCK – When another player pushes another blocker into the spiker because they are too slow to make the block.

CO-ED - When a coach wishes he had two boys playing in his girls team dressed as girls.

COIN TOSS – In a volleyball game, when a parent fumbles money trying to hurry up and get a snack from her daughter who is already heading down the bleachers.

COMMIT BLOCK – when a player finally agrees to try and block a spiker who they know will embarrass them.

CONTACTED BALL – When a player is hit in the face with the ball and her contact hits the ball.

COURT – In a volleyball game, when two players who just played are arguing on who gets the last Snickers at the snack bar.

COVER THE HITTER – When a player tries to hit a bad set, rips their shirt on the pole and another player on the same team covers that player with a towel.

CROSS BODY – The time it takes a big person to get down the bleachers while blocking the game for a more than a minute.

CROSS COURT SHOT – When a child is running behind the backcourt and the volleyball hits them.

CUT SHOT – When a female player hits the ball and at the same time has her period.

DEAD BALL – a ball that is about be hit by an angry spiker(2) a 2 year old watching the volleyball game trying to tell his/her mom that he/she wants ”that ball”.

DECOY – Any or all the players that never play a game during the whole season but come to practice and practice very hard.

DEEP DISH – When a number of volleyball players loose very bad in a game and decide on what pizza to eat to make up for that bad loss.

DEEP SET - Setting a table that is very long, usually like in a thanksgiving dinner.

DIG – When you like something in the sport of volleyball.

DINK – When the person in front of you in the crowd gets wet with your drink when you suddenly stand up to cheer because your team made an amazing play.

DIVE – When a player tries to perform a pancake move and instead lands head first into the floor.

DOUBLE BLOCK – When two girls deny you from making your move on a recently broken hearted volleyball player.

DOUBLE CONTACT – A volleyball player who does not wear glasses and instead wears “inside glasses”.

DOUBLE FOUL – (1)A female player who – oh forget it, you know the rest. (2)Also a male player who hits the ball and the blocker rubs his two arm pits during a block.

DOUBLE HIT - When two girls both hit you for you making your move on a recently broken hearted volleyball player friend.

DOUBLE QUICK –  The way a volleyball player moves when she/he really needs to go to the restroom in the middle of a game.

DOUBLES – two players who suck at volleyball, usually are twins or best friends.

DOWN BALL – A player who thinks they can control the ball just like their dog.

DOWN BLOCKING -  During a volleyball game, when a female walks down the bleachers and tells her friend not to date you.

DUMP – Something players do before they play a game, usually to help them calm their nerves.

EGG – a player who dives, rolls up and with that same momentum, gets one more roll. 

END LINE – In a game of volleyball, this is when a fan finally gets to buy something from the snack bar.

FACIAL – a female player who is hated by other players and when plays on the road always forgets to shave.

FACING YOUR RANGE – the distance you need to spike the ball from the back row to strike your least favorite player on the opposing side.

FAKE SMASH – The name given to a volleyball player, usually a female because of the bad dress style she has.

FIREBALL -  A male volleyball player with a health problem.

FIRST REFEREE – The first person to be threatened in a volleyball game.

FISH – SEE CUT Shot

FIVB – In a game of volleyball, a misspelled word that was supposed to spell “FIVE” serving “ONE”

FIVE-ONE – What a parent calls a score where the other team is winning.

FIVE SET – How many players are going to eat after the game is over and are going in your vehicle.

FLARE – Another name for a person who thinks the bleachers are too hard to sit on and this feeling occurs in their buttocks.

FLOATER – A player who has been coming to volleyball practice all year yet nobody knows his/her name including the coach.

FOLLOW THROUGH – a decision made to see if the coach will in fact put you in the last game.

FOOT FAULT – A call made by a parent during a game  when a volleyball player accidentally kicks her daughter during a spike.

FOREARM PASS – A guy watching a volleyball game who by way of the arm signals makes a gesture to a girl from the opposing team.

FORMATION – In a volleyball game, the shape the snack line makes as it curls around the bleachers.

FOUL – The smell coming from the blocker trying the block your spike and your nose hits one of their arm pits.

FOUR SET – a group of volleyball players who are usually together and they all suck.

FOUR-TWO – Four is the number of good players you have and two is number of players you need more to have a good team.

FREE BALL – A player who while picking up their volleyballs after a game finds a ball from the other team.

GAME PLAN -  A plan made by the coach with the worst losing record, explaining to his/her players where are they planning to eat after the game.

HEAT – SEE Hubby-Wife 

HELD BALL - A player who usually takes 2 minutes to serve a volleyball only to mess up the serve.

HIGH SEAM – any player who wears their shorts too tight and too high (2) A person saying hello to a boy name Seam.

HIT – A volleyball player with an accent who is trying to pronounce the word “heat”.

HITTER – What you call out when you want someone to hit a girl.

HITTING PERCENTAGE – How many hits you got in during a fight in a volleyball game.

HUBBY WIFE – SEE HEAT

INSIDE SHOOT – Usually a male player who produces a small amount of pee during his spike attempt.

INTERCHANGE - The thought a coach has deep down about switching his/her team with the team that is beating them badly.

ISOLATION PLAY – A player who never plays in a game so they stay after the game and play for an hour until their parents pick them up for self fulfillment.

JEDI DEFENSE - A player who is upset at his/her team so he/she quits trying at everything during a game. This player has gone to the dark side.

JOUST – When a player tries to hit another player during their spike attempt. 

JUNGLE BALL – A team that when they practice before a game, you as a coach and your team know 100% that they suck and you have the game in the hat.

JUMP SERVE - A serve attempt you perform once you know your chances of winning a game is not good and the score is 24 -2.

KEY – Something your trying to figure out when you were winning and suddenly you had an urge to rotate the whole team and now you are loosing.

KILL – What as a coach you would like to do to a player who never comes to practice except on game day and ask you “My mom said that if I am going to play if not so I can go home now?”

LET SERVE – When a player who always comes to practice is finally given the chance to go in and serve and when they do, they miss the serve. 

LIBERO – A player who usually measures 5’2” or smaller who lost their dream of being a spiker.

LIFT – a parent sitting on the bleachers in front of you who stands up and gives themselves a wedge and you are about 4 inches away from it.. 

LINE – Another word for crack. Usually seen when a big person sits in front of you in the bleachers.

LINE JUDGES – The people who are part of calling the game and who are less likely to be threatened by the home crowd.

LINE SHOT – When a weave hits the line during a spike and the ref calls the weave in.

LOB PASS – A ball returned from the bleachers back to the playing field by a right handed person who threw the ball left handed.

KONG BLOCK – A spiker who loses track of the ball when the blocker exposes its triple hairy arm pits.

MIDDLE-BACK – A male player in the back row who always shows “crack” when they bend to receive a serve and or a spike.

MIDDLE-UP - A female player whose shirt is too tight and at the same time is blessed up there.

MINTONETTE – A word from a foreign language which means “you suck at volleyball”.

MISDIRECT – when a player fools the other team and their team and spikes the ball into its own court.

MISDIRECT SHOT – when a player tries to spike the ball directly to a player he/she dislikes and instead hits another player for a point.

MONUMENT VALLEY – a place a coach would rather be in than to be loosing in the worst possible way.

MULTIPLE OFFENSE – A number of players you have tried to play just to find out that they all suck.

NET FAULT – The reason volleyball players could not send you the email of the game pictures they took yesterday.

NET SAVE – A volleyball player who knows how to recover email pictures from the computer.

OFFSIDE BLOCK – A person not on the bleachers who is blocking your view from the game. This person is usually standing up or in a long line waiting for their snacks.

OFF-SPEED HIT – When you call the ball out and the player hasn’t even hit the ball.

OUTSIDE HITTER – A player who hits the spike very hard that it goes out into the hallway of the school.

OVERHAND PASS – A person in the stands who receives a free gift from the cheerleaders at a volleyball game by over grabbing the prize that was headed straight towards you.

OVERHAND SERVE – A serve by someone who cannot serve and at the same time has not mastered the underhand serve because it is too difficult.

OVERLAP – When a person in the bleachers crossing her legs and at the same times strikes you in the back.

PAINT BRUSH – when an opposing player brushes his/her arm pit hairs in your face during a spike.

PANCAKE – When a bad player steps on the hand of another bad player who is already on the floor trying to get a ball that was unreachable.

PASS – Another way to say to a player who has asked their coach if they can play and you say no because they suck.

PENETRATION – When a drop of sweat from the spiker lands inside your mouth during a block and you can taste it but do not make a scene because you do not want any body to know yet every body saw it.

PEPPER  - when the ball hits your nose during practice making your eyes watery while you invent new bad words in your mind.

PIPE – a male player getting excited during a great spike.

PLATFORM – What LIBEROS need to stand on in order for them to be good spikers.

POINT OF SERVICE – The day or point when the coach decides who is going to be on the team and who is not.

POST – What volleyball players do on twitter to say who sucked more during the game they just lost yesterday.

POWER ALLEY – When the coach divides the team in two and you know that every one including you on the team sucks. Basically the B team vs the A team.

POWER TIP – When a player in the first team gives advice to a player in the B team and that player thinks this will help him/her play in the next game.

POWER VOLLEYBALL – When two teams hit the volleyballs so hard that none of them land in the court.

QUICK – What a coach calls when the opposing team is getting directions from their coach and you are about to serve because the ref has already blown the whistle to serve.

QUICK SET – What your mother tells you to do when she forgot people were coming over to eat after the game.

RALLY POINT - A point made by the players on the bench who are playing there own little game and will probably never play in a real game other than the one during the game. 

READING – (1)what players on the bench do all year knowing they will not play one single game (2)when your team realizes that the other team is going to kick your butts.

READY POSITION – When everyone in the crowd is quiet on purpose because a 7th grade volleyball player needs to concentrate on their serve and is already taking too much time.

RECEPTION ERROR – When a player finally understands what mistake they did only to do that same mistake again right after the time out.

RED CARD – When the ref gives a penalty for no reason to the visiting team after the home crowd threatens him.

REDWOOD – the wood material the bleachers are made out of. 

POKE – When a volleyball coach keeps telling the team that it wasn’t their fault they lost when deep down the coach is surprised his/her team even scored a point.

ROLL – the number of love handles a female has displayed when they put on a wrong and way too small game shirt by mistake.

ROOF – The sound the crowd makes every time your worst player is about to serve.

ROTATION – When the coach constantly turns around towards the bench to see if there is a good player to substitute in just to turn back to the game knowing everyone on the bench is worst than the starting line.

SCREENING – A person arriving at the game late who is looking for friends, says hello to them, and pretends not to see you.

SERVE – A noun or name given to your team by the winning team who just beat you.

SERVER – The winning team who just beat your team.

SERVICE ERROR – When you find out on your first game that your great players are all embarrassed to play in front of an audience.

SERVICE WINNER - When you find out that your great players are worst than your opponents players.

SET – To know your are going to loose because you are losing 24 to 0 and your opponent is serving.

SETTER – The players who think they can show their coach they can set while they pick up the bumps coming from their own team practicing during a game but never play.

SHANK OR SCUD – how extremely bad spikers do all the time when they spike.

SHOOT SET – setting the ball fairly fast trying to hit the ref for the last ball call.  

SHALLOW – When a volleyball player calls another player fat and she is only 2 ounces lighter than the girl she called fat.

SIDE OUT – The players who are not called in practice during the making of teams and are on the sidelines waiting to practice.

SIX PACK – Those group of girls who only joined the team because the other 5 did.

SIX-TWO – Two of the friends who joined the team because the others did and later left because of gossip on a non volleyball related issue.

SPIKE – When players mix Gatorade with any energy drink.

STRONG SIDE – When the coach puts the A team on one side and the B team on the other and knows that the A team is better.

STUFF – The materials players leave at their opponents place after the game and remember this once they get home.

SUBSTITUTION – In a volleyball game, when your parent wants to change the hot dog she ordered at the snack bar to a hamburger.

TAGGED – writing bad things on the bleachers of your opponent and getting caught for it.

TANDEM– The first thing the owner says to it’s workers when 6 volleyball players enter a tan salon.

TIGHT SET – Two volleyball players who are very close and are best friends.

TOOL – A player who always makes mistakes.

TOOLING – The player making another mistake as we speak.

TOPSPIN – A skinny girl over rolling while going for a dive. 

TUNA – SEE CUT SHOT

TURNING IN – The moment players turn in their uniforms and they know that they will not probably play in the next game either.

UNDERHAND SERVE – A serve in which the player performing this is better at academics than athletics.

USED – those players given great feedback during practice by the coach yet will never play during the whole season.

WARM UP – In a volleyball game, when the bleachers are over crowded and two big people are squishing you on either side.

WEAK SIDE – The players sitting on the bench further away from the coach.

WHOOPY CUSHION – People in the bleachers who unwillingly keep touching your butt with their feet.

WIPE – When you slide yourself to the floor during a pancake approach only to find out you landed 3 feet away from the ball.

VOLLEY – How a British person would pronounce the word “Valley”

YELLOW CARD – What the ref gives the opposing team once the ref hears that a parent from the home team has threatened him/her.

ZONES – the different thinking points the coach is engaged in while his team loses terribly and he/she realizes they are stuck with this team for the next 23 games. 

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